it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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