Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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