Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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