You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
