her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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