a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
