I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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