butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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