Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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