porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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