I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I will die if light touches me.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize