I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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