naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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