so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
