make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
