it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
