So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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