grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
