were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
