Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
