No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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