My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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