Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
