We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
