Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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