I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
