Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol