After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?