The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
