Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  no

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit (1-901): no (901): the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table (901): im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE http://tfl.nu/q3wo
  Replies (12) Good night (427) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there... http://tfl.nu/bdjq
  Replies (30) Good night (526) Bad night (2021) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4178) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

  (406): View more from Montana

  And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Amen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out. (406): And we all know God doesn't like sinners. (701): Amen. http://tfl.nu/nq0i
  Replies (14) Good night (6433) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  she told me i tasted like america

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): she told me i tasted like america http://tfl.nu/ed46
  Replies (31) Good night (7727) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game. http://tfl.nu/2q8s
  Replies (12) Good night (2774) Bad night (1562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d
  Replies (4) Good night (2377) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand... http://tfl.nu/rby4
  Replies (7) Good night (3184) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew. http://tfl.nu/1b9c
  Replies (30) Good night (7909) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine. http://tfl.nu/o5fg
  Replies (15) Good night (2640) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy
  Replies (6) Good night (3508) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face. http://tfl.nu/v2nt
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1440) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt

Randomize