party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
