Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
