420 ftw
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
