She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize