Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
