i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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