i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My ass is underappreciated
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
