nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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