Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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