I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
