College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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