Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
