The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
