The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How external is "for external use only"?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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