Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Boobs speak an international language.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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