I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
