did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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