alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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