Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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