not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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