i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
