Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
