Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
