Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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