Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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