I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
