We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
