Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
